Tomato season is here -yum! I bet my mother thought she'd never see the day I'd say that. My children all profess to hate tomatoes, but I smile because I did, too, at their age. The difference is I happily munch my tomato sandwiches without forcing them to eat some.
I grew up under the strict policy 'if mom or dad likes it, it's good and you have to eat some'. Usually "as many bites as you are old" -the only downside of having a birthday- and no dessert unless you clean your plate. Nasty business. To this day I despise red beets, brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus... and the real doozie- dandelion greens! We had to listen to it every spring how we are so lucky because at least we get to eat young, tender raw dandelion, as opposed to old, bitter, cooked stuff that Grandma made Mom eat. As for bologna sandwiches, that is a whole other post.
One day when I was a newlywed spending the day at a friend's house I was served tomato sandwiches. Panic. I didn't know if I had the willpower. My hostess, bless her, didn't know. Surprise. It's really not so bad with bacon & cheese on toast. I came to find out I like tomatoes if they are slightly firm. My in-laws introduced me to the Hillbilly variety (the yellow ones with red streaks). Now those are the ones I can eat sliced with just a dab of mayo, like my mother tried to teach me.
In many ways we become our parents and, to our chagrin, parrot the phrases we didn't like to hear growing up. The weak link in my armor as a strict mom [my children's opinion, not mine] is making my children eat things they don't like. JR would be quick to argue, as he has to eat fish even though it nearly makes him vomit (he watched fish butchering once and can't handle fish ever since), and I've been on a tilapia kick lately. Over all I'm pretty lenient though. Especially away from home, I figure it's more important for my children to clean their plate than to take a serving of each dish. I myself will pass on the things I don't like when possible. Call it childhood trauma. LOL Of course, at home I simply don't make the things I don't like. From time to time when one of the children complains about a meal, R. & I will regale them with tales of the cruel & unusual punishment we endured at the table when we were their age. Our assurances that they have it good in comparison is about as effective on them as it was on us 30 years ago.
I was quite surprised the other day when JR suddenly started eating "my" cherries. Turns out he was working for someone one day this summer and was served sweet cherries at lunch for dessert. He took some to be polite ...and discovered he actually likes them. I'm proud of him for being concerned about manners. What I have been pondering ever since is whether children learn to like foods at a younger age if it's not forced upon them repeatedly?
Disclaimer: I love my parents and they raised me well. I trust my children will say the same of me some day -that their character won't be stunted because I didn't force them to eat certain things. Incidentally, my children eat things that I won't. A. likes onion sandwiches... JR likes hot peppers & horseradish... JS likes venison...all 3 of my children eat watermelon while I staunchly declare if I want water I will drink it...
4 comments:
I've wondered too, if children more intensely dislike things they are forced to eat. I personally think everyone's taste buds are unique, sort of like personalities. Some can take stronger foods than others. Mom always had the 'finish your food and try at least a little of everything' policy with quite varied results. Some of us will eat almost anything set before us. Some of us have serious dislikes.
By the way, you made me hungry for a great big Hillbilly tomato sandwich... :)
i am one of those who will eat almost anything set before them {and i'm also the one cooking the "things" that get set before those poor unsuspecting people. i take a wicked pleasure in hearing mom say, eat a little bit. :} hope Jared does not, by some chance, read this.
i don't think it has so much to do with being forced to eat or being excused from eating... some can just stomach more than others -through no virtue of their own.
but one thing i don't think i will ever ever be able to eat is that awful green split pea soup. i had to eat a whole bowl once. cured me for life.
enjoyed the post, Cheryl :)
I never did learn to like slimy cooked dandelion or spinich but I did learn to like lima beans after I was married. Sometimes "not liking" a food is a mental block and you might surprise yourself if you try it, e.g. sweet cherries. I've seen it happen more than once. Making a child at least taste something is not wasted effort.
That is just too funny, LaRonda. I love split pea soup! First thing I learned to cook (from a can, of course). My children think it's nasty though. I'm sure you are eating a number of things over there that I wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole!
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