Photo Credits: Brown Towne Photography
*I think I must switch to using our names instead of initials because we have accumulated entirely too many female "A"s in this family to make sense anymore. 😊 Good-bye all pretense of protecting a tiny bit of my kid's privacy.We got the happy news that we were going to be grandparents on Mother's Day. How fitting. Because the parents-to-be chose not to find out what they were having, we got to be surprised along with them. We were rooting for a boy, so we were surprised when our son called with the news "It's a girl!" So much for gut instincts!
Statistically speaking, she could be a rare breed -we might not get many more granddaughters. I was the only girl in a family of boys, our DIL is an only girl, and our daughter is an only girl. Girls are rather scarce around here, so we're delighted to be guaranteed at least this one granddaughter. And in case you haven't noticed, this makes Arianna the sole auntie. She plays that title like a trump card.
Little Miss Avery is special for another reason. She has the distinction of being 1st child of her parents, first grandchild for both sets of grandparents, first great-grandchild for my parents (2nd for Richard's) and first great-great-grandchild for our only surviving grandparent. That's a lot of firsts. The parents are accepting zero responsibility for how spoiled Avery might get as a result. 😊
For those who like quirky trivia... for our up-coming 5 generation photo, we just happen to be synchronized female, male, female, male, female. If Avery would've been a boy, our rhythm would've been thrown off. I hadn't thought of that when I was rooting for a boy.
For now, we have a 3 generation photo-
Photo Credit: Brown Towne Photography
Crocheted Ugg boots credit: yours truly
We are tickled that the little Miss looks like her daddy. Some would say like a Miller, but in light of the fact that Josh takes after my family... I'm claiming credit for the Stauffers on the cuteness genes. 😊
When my babies were born, one of the grandmas would always say "he/she looks like my babies". My in-laws were Amish when my hubby was born, so there are no baby photos in existence of him. But when my in-laws walked in the hospital room to see our firstborn, MIL said "Oh my! He looks exactly like Richard did. If you ever wanted to know what Richard looked like as a baby, just look at your baby." That is the feeling of deja vu I got when I saw Avery for the first time. I could've picked her out from a lineup of all the babies in the nursery without a single hint.
The saying goes that ignorance is bliss. One of the blessings of being novice parents is that you don't worry about things that could go wrong. Or would it be more accurate to say one of the curses of being a grandparent is life has taught you that sometimes things do go wrong and you worry too much for the next generation? I found myself worrying more that this baby would be healthy than I ever did for my own children. I just didn't want my son to go through the disappointment we faced when we lost our first baby. And then when she was born and had a mild complication, I think it scared me more than it did them. Thank God for the marvels of modern medicine, and medical professionals that don't take a chance letting the situation get out of control. Avery spent a couple days in a special nursery at the hospital, but bounced back quick with interventions. She smiled at both grandpas the day she was born, and has been the smile-y-est baby I've ever seen since.
I must confess I broke the cardinal grandma rule right out of the gate. Everyone knows you don't stay very long when you visit the newborn. But this grandma was totally smitten and couldn't drag herself away. There are no words for how wonderful it feels to be a grandma, to hold that brand new tiny miracle in your arms. I've never been a baby person, so I was caught off guard discovering I most definitely am a grand-baby person. From what I've heard, that really is a thing.
And since I'm a new, inexperienced grandma I reserve the right to screw up, and I apologize in advance to my DIL.
P.S. This is where I make excuses for my bad behavior. I was and still am amazed at how well our DIL bounced back. I was never that perky hours after giving birth. When the new mama lays in bed all exhausted and pale, it makes you more aware of not overstaying your welcome. But, wow, with the improved drugs available these days, it almost makes you want to give it another whirl, doesn't it? Nope, not really. I'm not going to whine about how tough we had it back in the old days, but lets just say they don't know how good they have it nowadays.
I've taken up a new genre of reading- books about grandparenting. My favorite by far to date is "How to Be the Perfect Grandma". It is hysterical. The author's grandchildren are in their teens so she has a wealth of funny stories. I hope someday I can write the Mennonite version of that book, maybe in about 20 years; a couple weeks of grandparenting just doesn't amount to much material.
Her Rule # 9 is "Listen politely to instructions, then do whatever you want. Just like your kids did to you." Rule # 24 "Always remember that you are in competition with the other grandma" (complete with this tidbit: "Even though we know you are the better grandma, try not to show it when her mother is around. And this is important- check periodically with your grandchildren to make sure you are winning the grandma race. If by chance they say they like the other one better, buy them something they've been yearning for. And try harder.") Maybe it's just me, but that made me laugh out loud. But I'm bracing myself to get reprimanded by the new daddy for the faulty teaching I've been taking in. [Alas, refer back to Rule #9.] 😁 Seriously though, I do have my limits. I remember what it's like to be the parent and someone gives your kid a toy that makes THE most annoying sound, or picks up the baby every time he/she squeaks and then walks off to let you deal with the fall-out. Yes, I have heard of the golden rule, and common sense. Rule # 33 "The only people interested in hearing about your grandchildren are grandparents who want to tell you about theirs". Nowadays, we can whip out the smartphone and swipe, instead of unfurling that plastic thing-y of photos a mile long. A little less dramatic, but still fun.
However, let me hasten to add a disclaimer to all this rule comedy, before you rush out read the book and form all kinds of false assumptions about my relationship drama, the truth is while I find the stories in this little book hilarious, it's not because I can relate to them all. My DIL is doing a fabulous job of allowing -inviting- us to be involved, and she actually solicits my advice instead of treating me like I've suddenly lost all knowledge of child care and can't be trusted with a baby. I'm a lucky grandma.
The rule I'm still working on is figuring out being the "grandmother-in-law", as one book dubs it. Another states it this way- "Her mother is family, his mother is company. Always remember if you are the mother-in-law of the mother of your grandchild, you are company, now and forever more. Repeat one hundred times: I am COMPANY. If you are the mother of the mother, you've pretty much got carte blanche, but if you are the mother of the daddy, you tiptoe through the tulips." (Tiptoe through the tulips... Hey, that takes me back to my CNA days, bending down in front of an old lady, hands on her wheelchair handles, singing that song with her, face to face, she with her quavery old voice... Aww. 😍 Them were good times. But I digress.) Refer back to the disclaimer in the previous paragraph. All the figuring out that needs done here is a reflection on me, not on the new parents. But I desperately want to get it right. Just like there is no manual for new parents, there is no manual for grandparents either. One that gives you the perfect blend of being helpful without being a nuisance, when all you want to do is move into their house so you can cuddle that precious little grandbaby all the time. Honestly, the first couple days after she was born I didn't get much done. The screen kept drawing me in like a magnet, to gaze on the pictures of that perfect little face. Even for the initially-reluctant grandpa-to-be, it was love at first sight.
Life just got a whole lot more WONDERFUL, folks!
Let's get together so you can tell me about your grandchildren...
