I have not written an Autism Awareness post for a couple years, but I decided to "hop on here quick" and slip one in yet on this last day of Autism Awareness Month.
While Autism -or Aspergers, in our case- does not have a cure and will probably always be a part of our story, it doesn't have as huge of an impact on our day-to-day lives as it did 15 years ago. We have had more than 1 parent meet [our family member on the spectrum] and found hope for their own Autism journey.
How do you keep believing that God is good when He isn't answering your prayers? When I was in the thick of the messy, I just want some assurance that it was going to turn out ok down the road. I had no faith left to believe our family member would some day be gainfully employed and a capable adult. I'm happy our story can encourage others now, but it wasn't always this good.
I came across the testimony behind Mercy Me's song "Even If" awhile back and it really speaks to me. If you haven't heard it, listen here. Daniel 3:18 "But even if he does not..." God has the power to heal, to give us a miracle, to reveal the cure for autism but even if He does not, I'm still going to trust & worship Him.
It's been said "if you want to improve your prayer life, have kids!" I have found that to be very true.
A popular -but so very true- quote in the autism community is "if you've met one child with autism, you've met one child with autism." Just because I parented one does not make me an expert. I'm happy to answer questions, but there is no manual or formula for parenting these kids. I can tell you what worked for me but it might not work for you. I wish someone had reassured me that it's ok to trust your gut instinct for special needs parenting.
I wish someone had told me sooner that it's ok to be honest with God. He's not afraid of our anger and questions. He already knows about it so we might as well discuss it with Him.
I wish I would've done better at noticing the little things -the baby steps in the right direction- while praying for the big miracle. As a special needs parent one needs to be thankful for what you do have instead of fixating on what you don't have.
I wish I would've had the energy to be more intentional with my other kids. Autism affects the whole family and sometimes the siblings got the short straw.
I am thankful for the bulldog tendencies that God gives to special needs parents- usually the mom. You need that tenacity to fight for every treatment and service your child needs/gets. I don't regret fighting for my family member, even though it resulted in being painfully misunderstood many times. Fight for the joy set before you, enduring the cross, despising the shame...
My latest read -and recommendation- on the subject of autism is Aching Joy: Following God Through the Land of Unanswered Prayer by Jason Hague. Through his writing, I discovered Isaiah 45:3 I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. Our story has been hard. But thank you, God, for the treasures and riches that are also part of our story!
