Joy

On Sunday we had the privilege of standing by one of our sons as he was baptized, along with these other young people of our congregation.

It stirs memories of my grandma quoting the verse "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." I have a deeper understanding of that verse these days. 

What Moms Do [Teenage Version]

A friend from church wrote a delightful post "What Moms Do" (read it here). While I have definitely been there, the details change a little when you're dealing with teenagers instead of little people. So here's my version.

Ever wonder what moms do?
This morning I got up. I enjoyed the time to wake up quietly because the menfolk were already off to work and the daughter was getting herself breakfast and packing her lunch. I then embarked on my day -- which included dropping off my youngest at school because she can't drive quite yet, then a laptop and mountain of book work. If I'm lucky, I might get a few hours where everyone else is gone simultaneously and I can work in peace & quiet. Somewhere in the midst of things, is a not-so-secret-anymore-but-still-all-mine stash of chocolate to fortify oneself on hectic days. 
That's what moms do.

The other members of the household return one by one- right on que! This one settles down to do homework, that one takes off again to go here or there. I stand in the midst of the whirlwind trying to keep track of who is coming and who is going and when will they be coming back and who will be here for the next meal. "Mom, can you get my check ready to go to the bank?" "Mom, does this pan of bars look done?" "Mom, do I have any clean jeans?" "Mom, can I go to ___'s house?"  "Mom, do I have enough money to get ____?"  "Mom, do we have anything going next weekend?"  "Where am I supposed to be going?" [no kidding- real life text]
That's what moms do.

Tonight, when the last member straggles in (past parental bedtime), we will stay up till 1am working through the mysteries and heartaches of being a teenager trying to find one's way in life. Discussing deep things like 'Am I valued for who I am?' or 'Where do I fit in the youth group?' or 'How do I keep my cool when I'm in charge and no one listens?' or 'Why do people think because I have disability I don't have any feelings/am stupid?' There are job woes and broken hearts, social pecking orders and crushes, texting etiquette to be taught and funny stories from one's day begging to be shared and laughed over, reminders it's time for a haircut -again, encouragement to fill the gaps in one's life with God-honoring things, reminders someone must be told where you are going when you leave because (a) it's good practice for the future when your spouse will expect you to be in the habit, (b) we need to know where to look for you if you end up in a ditch unconscious, and (c) we love you and worry about you. Regular assurances 'we love you. No. matter. what.' Or more importantly, GOD loves you no. matter. what. There is great wisdom in the quote 'To decide to become a parent is to decide to forever after have your heart go walking around outside your body'. There are short nights when one cries & floods heaven with prayers in a feeble attempt to fix your children's problems, and other nights when one sighs & smiles with contentment because life is good.  

When at last, all are safely in bed, I think I'll remove the biggest candy bar from my stash, and eat it. All. Then write peanut butter cups on the grocery list. (The big ones, not the bite-sized.) 
Sometimes moms do that too! 

I've Got a Dream

I always thought we would go somewhere in service as a married couple/family. We thought highly of the young married couples on staff at the VS unit where we met and I really thought at some point we'd be the ones trying to raise a family while mentoring young people there. But it never happened.
   When I was brand new to this community, there were many different ideas and ways of doing things to adapt to. Having pledged -like the Biblical Ruth- to make his people my people, I 'swallowed' everything that came down the pike. When a mature lady stated in Sunday School that one should never volunteer to serve on the mission field because it's promoting yourself and often doesn't turn out well, causing problems for the mission board- that instead one should always wait to be noticed/called, I believed that was this church's concept [instead of an individual's opinion] and embraced it as truth. I obediently waited for someone to notice our suitability to serve and got on with life. We were busy having a family and trying to get established in business.
   Years passed.
   At some point I became interested in a book rack ministry. I heard the best couples for that particular work are a man who enjoys driving and a wife who loves to read books. Surely someone would notice our suitability for that position and submit our name. But it never happened. Meanwhile we were busy researching little-known disorders and trying to figure out the special needs parenting world. It really would not have been in the best interest of our family at that point to disrupt & transplant anyway.
   More years passed.
   There was that one occasion where we did get a phone call. It came out of the clear blue and left us reeling for a moment. The position was a good fit, the location was great (being roughly midway between our extended families) and the influence on our children would have been a good thing, but alas we were 2 days away from digging the foundation for our major home addition project. We couldn't leave our contractor in the lurch. (Learning we were way down on the list of candidates didn't exactly make us feel vital so it was easy to say no right away.)
   In more recent years, it has emerged that our children love babies and little people. My dream refreshed itself into possibly serving with an organization that takes care of 'prison babies'. I have my doubts about my suitability for the position but my youth would thrive as a foster family there. We even briefly contemplated becoming foster parents in our community here but decided against it for several reasons.
   Meanwhile our closest circle of friends from church have all been called to missions or ministry. I feel like the odd man out when we're together. There is that cliche that "someone has to stay home and earn money to support those in missions" but I never much cared for that little pat-on-the-head.
   So here we are... still sitting at home. Still waiting. But along the way I have discovered the dream takes two; marriage is a partnership so it's not enough for me to dream of doing missions work. If the man of the house is quite content to be a missionary supporter instead of the missionary, where does that leave me? Can I be content to support him in this too?
   Furthermore I am getting the sneaking suspicion that the call might come about the time grandbabies start arriving and I won't want to leave them. Hey, I've been training my whole life to be grandma!
   And then there is the sobering fact that I now have 2 children who are older than I was when I so maturely (ha!) marched off to VS eg. my children are capable of getting the missions experience without me.
   And then the other day this quote showed up in my FaceBook wall....

   Much pondering going on here. How much of my dream is actually looking for something magical to happen instead of a real desire to be Jesus' hands & feet? I believe I need to rethink the whole dream. 

PS. Lest you falsely believe I am a deep, spiritual thinker, I have a confession to make- the title of this post does not come from Martin Luther's famous speech or any such thing. It was inspired by the song in the Disney movie Tangled. They say there is a child inside of all of us, and the kid in me loves certain Disney kid movies. 

   So, maybe someday I will leave my "tower", maybe not. 

Our June

The first weekend in June found us traveling back to my home state to attend my 25th HS reunion. Has it really been that long? We have scattered, especially the girls. Some to such distance places that not all of us could attend. It took some doings to make our paths cross. We were happy to have our teacher & his wife drop by for a bit, too.

We also were privileged to attend the graduation party of a nephew that weekend. And attend the Sunday service at the church where we were married one last time before it is remodeled/changed forever. 

Meanwhile our daughter made a trip to the Natural State and got to experience a girls camp called "Obsess". It was quite the experience. You can ask her about that. 

The 2nd week in June was taken up with the wedding of R's oldest sister. We never thought we'd see the day! This is the sibling who was known to say "I only need a man for 5 minutes". It took 50 years but she got a good man and we couldn't have asked for a lovelier day for an outdoor reception.

  

We learned a few things with this wedding: #1- one should not have to know prior to rehearsal that one is an usher at a wedding; all that is really necessary is to show up prepared to "dance". #2- black & black really can look classy (if you throw in a silver vest) vs. looking like an Amish funeral. #3- it is possible to have your entire family as bridal party; who knew a processional with 30+ people could be pulled off flawlessly?  #4- the pecking order is alive & well 

The 3rd weekend in June we participated in a truck show for the first time. You can polish all you want but that won't stop it from raining on your parade. Literally. 2 hours of rain that stopped about the time the parade ended. We were shocked at how many people turned out, in spite of the rain. Would I sit in the rain for 2 hours to watch a bunch of trucks go by? No. 

Parade of Lights

The last weekend of June we attended a wedding. We were quite honored to be invited guests, considering we're in that stage where we "never" get invited to weddings anymore. While there may be a certain amount of charm to a wedding in the woods, I hope & pray my daughter never gets the notion to take this route (it looked like a tremendous amount of work to me!) Considering the angle of my lovely white chair was one that kept me in suspense as to the possibility of scooting down hill at any moment, it was a relief the ceremony was mercifully short. :) 

During the week we keep ourselves busy with things like learning the new flatbedding job, spring cleaning basements (which may or may not includes howling over items in the 'sentimental value' file and cringing over silly things written in old love letters and diaries, along with sweeping spider webs and throwing out trash) and suffering through 3 audits (simply by merit of owning a trucking company, not for doing anything particularly wrong). 

It's a wonderful life. 

Graduation '14

April & May are notoriously busy months for our household, and this year was no exception. This year we had a high school senior- JS graduated last Friday, May 16. In the months leading up to grad I was frantically working on his scrapbook to get it caught up and spring cleaning our house. There were also clothes and gifts to shop for and dresses to sew, food to make and invitations to mail, senior pictures to order and grad-planning drama to endure, flowerbeds to mulch and a thousand other details to attend. The last month has been so scheduled that now that it's behind us, it feels strange to not have anything pressing on the agenda for today.

Here are some pictures of the occasion: 

I love this picture of JS decorating his gift table. His teacher's sons didn't pay the slightest bit of attention to the girls' tables with all the "fluff" but they were 'all over' his decor. 

JS knew what he wanted- he had it all planned and did all the decorating himself -all I did was stand and watch. It was truly one-of-a-kind, light on the senior theme, heavy on the hunting theme, but so totally JS. (I mean, who else has a bill cap to hold cards on their gift table?!)

  

My brother gave the commencement address. 

My entire family (minus 1 nephew) attended from out-of-state, which was a real honor. 

JS's senior speech...  graduation = D.O.N.E. Freedom!! 

School didn't come easy for this one and he worked hard for a diploma. He would've given up and dropped out if we had allowed it, but we're proud of him for persevering.

It was making me a little nervous when 2 hours before grad the senior speech was not written. For a number of years he was adamant that he is not giving a speech if he graduates, but he persevered through this too, with his own unique flair. 

Take note of the shirt because he & I spent hours shopping for it. This one has definite opinions on clothes!

AMS Class of '14 with their teacher

One of us didn't get the memo to wear a coordinating color.  

The special young lady who makes it all worthwhile.

(And was quite brave to come meet the whole family.)

And don't forget gifts... gifts make it worthwhile.

He was hoping to get enough cash to invest in a Matthews bow.  

Thanks to generous friends & family, he did. 

My family stayed at a local cabin for the weekend.

Everyone helped with food, which greatly lightened the load for me.

We took a little time Saturday afternoon to go to the school picnic. 

The High School guys always play softball against their dads; 

this was JS & R's last year to play in the "big game" so we didn't want to miss it. 

They are usually pretty evenly matched; this year the HS guys won by 1 point.

My youngest brother was feeding a coon out of his hand here.

(No it did not have rabies; it had obviously been fed before and was very careful about not biting.)

Love my family! 

Thanks for coming, y'all. It's always sweet when we're not the ones doing the driving.

Two down, one to go. A's graduation is 3 year away.

There is talk of renting this cabin and the whole family coming again. 

We have no objections.

Winter Break

Our school schedules a one-week break every year in February aka Winter Break. This is the time to venture to FL to visit the in-laws or otherwise fortify ourselves for the remaining weeks of wintry weather by any means of fun activities. Since the work schedules in our household now outweigh those on the school schedule, it is somewhat less of a holiday. Yet certain of us still feel entitled to a week off. Particularly yours truly.

This year -with the ever looming job loss hanging over our heads- we had to give up the much anticipated ski trip. It is impressive how much fun one can manage close to home without spending much money when one has to.

There was the day spent making homemade doughnuts. [Cut & paste photos and sentiments from last year here.] 100 doughnuts later, life is good!

We considered skiing for just one day but the man of the house must work when there is work, so it was not to be. As a consolation prize, he took us to a skating rink one afternoon. On the plus side was a nearly empty rink, on the negative side was ungroomed ice- guess it just wasn't worth it for so few people. Afterwards we patronized an Olive Garden -a favorite of the females of this household- and did some shopping. JS found this tee-shirt for a friend's birthday-  

We also went looking for chicks at a farm supply store who was advertising "Chick Days". Since we now had instructions in the proper method for picking them up, we picked up a few. Fun times with our teens! The chicks sure were cute. But we didn't purchase any. Instead we walked away with $3 chevron skirts from the clearance rack.

On another day A & I treated ourselves to ColdStone Creamery with a BOGO coupon. It felt like a nod from above when their computer glitch kept the coupon from ringing up and our entire order was "on the house".

And to end out the weekend, the forecasted storm swept through our area. We really didn't get that much white stuff, but church was cancelled and we enjoyed a cozy day holed up at home together. Remembering a year ago, and thanking God again this past year did not include a cancer journey.

 

Life is good, even with all the uncertainty of our future.    

Starting [Not So] Well

Well, 2014 got off to a rather bleak start for us. I don't care to have another week like that for a very long time!
1. We got news we are losing our job. For as long as I have known this little community existed, there has always been a feed mill here, owned & operated by my husband's family (until a few years ago). And my beloved has been hauling the feed all these years. Effective in March, for the first time in 27 years, there will no longer be a feed mill here. This also means our oldest son, JR, is losing the job that was such an answer to prayer this fall.
2. There was land being auctioned off behind our house on Saturday. We really, really wanted it. At least some of it. How much can one afford to pay when losing their "bread & butter"? Stressful stuff.
3. The SIL, W, was in an accident mid-week and ended up in the hospital with bleeding on the brain. Cerebral contusion and 2 types of hematomas, to be exact.
4. We commemorated the 20th anniversary of my brother, Steve's death. Still miss him after all these years.
5. On the same day, we celebrated the 18th birthday of 2nd son, JS. It was tough this year with JS turning the same age Steve was when he died.


Continuing Saga-
1. We are looking into continuing to haul feed, although this will mean a commute of 1.5 hours to the warehouse/starting point, instead of 2 miles. Trial basis.
1b. JR has a job application in for another job that we're hoping will work out. Fingers crossed.
2. We did purchase 30 acres of land at the auction. For a shocking price. When did Quiet Lane become prime real estate?! Now that we know who the other bidders were and what their intentions were for the land, we are not regretting the choice to bid beyond our original limit and are trusting God to provide work for us until we get back on our feet. And beyond.  Oh, and by the way, stress can be a weight-loss program. I weigh less than I did at any time since I hit 40.
3. W is recovering slowly. She has typical symptoms of a head injury but we are so grateful it wasn't worse.
4. I made it through the day by staying busy.
5. Still working on not biting my nails every time JS drives out the driveway... what if he never comes back?? We have no guarantees.


Yet through it all, we still believe. God is in control.

Be joyful always; pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thess. 5:16-18