Successful Parenting

When I was raising my boys, it was part of my parenting philosophy that I was raising future husbands. There were manners I tried to teach them precisely because I believed some day it would come in handy as a husband. Key word there being “tried”. Not always successful. Things like lowering the toilet seat and tidying up the bathroom when you’re through, writing an item on the grocery list when you use up the last one, holding the door for a lady, and letting your mother know where you are going when you leave so she doesn’t worry (and knows where to start looking if you don’t make it home). 

   And then there are the things you let slide because frankly it’s not worth the battle. Or it’s just not something that bothers you. Every mom has ‘that thing’ she will do for her kids, it’s not part of her job description, and her kids take it for granted, but she does it anyway because she loves them. I think it might be referred to as 'spoiling'. I can’t tell you the number of times I stood in my laundry room turning socks right side out for my kids and saying to myself “Some day my daughter-in-law is going to hate me for this.”

   Ironically enough, the 1 DIL I have so far has never complained about having to turn socks right side out. Apparently that isn’t something that pushes her buttons. But the one thing that never once entered my mind to teach my sons is the one I should’ve taught. Oops!   

   So the moral of the story is this- it doesn’t matter how carefully you train your sons to be future husbands, there is going to be a pet peeve you don’t think of. In a nutshell- different things bug different people. It's just a fact of life. That’s not an excuse to give up and not even try to teach manners to that 12 year old that couldn’t care less about showering or changing his underwear. We do our best as moms because some day we hope our kids [or their spouses] will rise up and called us blessed. And where we get it wrong? God grant us the serenity to accept our mistakes. And if there is any justice in the world, some day the DILs who have to finish training our sons will be a MIL herself who missed one or two essential manners.

   

And now, can we talk about the real reward of being a mother? Grandbabies!

**We were privileged to attend the baby dedication of our granddaughter this morning. The pastor had an excellent message. On being a successful parent. From Judges 13, the story of Samson’s parents. I love when a sermon text comes from an unusual passage and you discover gems hidden in God's word you never noticed before.  

Successful parents:

1. Recognize their priorities

2. Recognize their privilege [v. 3]

3. Recognize their responsibility [v.7]

4. Recognize their dependency, [v.8] and

5. Recognize their limitations. [v.25]

A new thought to me was Samson’s parents did everything right, but they still had to accept their limitations when Samson was making poor choices. Sometimes children make choices that embarrass us and don’t make us look good [temper tantrum in the grocery store, for example] but we have the promise in Scripture if we train children up in the ways of God, it will follow them all their lives. In a crucial moment, Samson remembered the teaching of his parents.  

   At my stage of life, I can’t help but think that it’s good we embark into parenthood when we’re “young & dumb”. If we knew what all those 5 things entailed before we started, we’d be too terrified to have children. By the time we really understand what all the pastor was talking about, it’s too late -we are beyond the greatest opportunity for influence. It is an awesome responsibility and privilege to parent. We’re so very happy the next generation has ‘picked up the torch’ –not only giving us a wonderful grandbaby, but more importantly committing to teach & train her in the ways of God.

**On Mother’s Day my mind always goes to those who are not as blessed as I am. Those who no longer have their mother. Those who have not had a chance to be a mother. Or for whatever reason Mother’s Day is not a happy day for them. If this is you, just know you are loved and thought of today.