The grief has been so close to the surface again lately. Someone selects a song about heaven at church and I'm a puddle of tears. An ambulance goes screaming by me on the highway and out of nowhere I get a lump in my throat and pray for the persons involved in whatever emergency is in progress. One of my favorite quotes on grief is "Grief is like peeling an onion. There are many layers and it makes you cry a lot." Truth. Even decades later.
That's when Heaven pierces through the clouds of darkness,
and the glory of the Father shines through Heaven's open door
And the Son of Man standing at the right hand of the Father
with a warm embrace gives welcome and the angels are rejoicing
and the Father with a voice like rushing wind says
"All Heaven has been waiting - Enter in!"
I miss them.
I would take flowers there today if I could.
If it wasn't always cold & muddy & miserable this time of year in the cemetery, I'd sit by their graves and talk to them.
I long to be where they are. Where there are no tissues, and it's never muddy & miserable.
And then there is the birthday. For the past 21 years I cry in secret, then pull myself together and celebrate the birthday.
With one hand, He brings sorrow to me.
With the other hand, He holds me up and comforts me.
And so, I am safe in His embrace.
This is my sometimes quiet, sometimes goofy son that is more like his uncle than he knows. He is 21 today. He has been given more years than the uncle, for which I am so very grateful. He is married now, so for the first time I'm not buying him a birthday cake and making his requested menu today. I'm not sure how I feel about not having his birthday to get me through the day.
Happy birthday, JS!
You are loved more than you know, and your mom is praying '17 will be a blessed year for you.
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing your son with us!we are honored to be able to call him son! Sorrow...how well I know that feeling that you can't always explain to those who have never walked through it! Love and hugs to you today!
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