Miss A, you are entering the adult world now. You are going to start going places and doing things without me. I won't be there to help you navigate through all of life's situations- you will have to figure out how it's done on your own sometimes now. Like how to use a drive-through window and how to pump gas. I compiled a list of 16 things I want you to know on your 16th birthday...
1. Reading is essential. I'm immensely pleased that you love good books. It's okay to enjoy the movie version of stories... but always read the book first. And believe the book was better.
2. Those impossibly happy people in commercials, billboards, and magazine ads and that perky salesclerk in the store are being paid to look that happy. If you don't need what they are selling, don't buy it. It won't make you happier or cooler.
3. You should never intentionally make someone's life more difficult. Anyone's. This means, among many other things, be kind to the waitress who serves you (and leave a respectable tip), leave your motel room in decent shape when checking out, pull away from the gas pump as soon as you can if someone is waiting behind you, and put away your shopping cart at the store.
4. Your self-worth should never be determined by whether or not someone likes you. If people are taking time out of their day to talk about you behind your back, it proves that you are already far more interesting than they are.
5. Tell me where you are going when you leave home. And what time you expect to get back. I am your mother; I deserve to know these things. Always carry a cell phone with you, but don't ever text & drive! Find a safe place to pull over if you must answer a text right away.
6. Your youth is a ticket you can only cash once. Don't waste it yearning for the next phase; enjoy the now. There is plenty of time to have a job after you get out of school, plenty of time to be married after you've traveled/been in VS, etc.
7. Treat your body with respect. You will get old quick enough without wearing your body out prematurely. This means wear sunscreen, lift properly, eat healthy, drink enough water, etc. Trust me, your thighs won't always look like they do at 16.
8. It's okay to cry. Hormones are a beast. Sometimes you will feel like crying and won't even know why. Find a safe place and cry when you need to.
9. High School is a big deal. You gotta get in there and do it. Finish what you start. Even when you don't feel like it. But as long as you do your best, that's all we expect. Don't sweat the less-than-perfect grades.
10. Your friends are going to change. It happens to all of us. The girl who was our best friend in Kindergarten might not be the one we hang out with most in the youth group, and our children may not even know the BFF who was maid-of-honor at our wedding. That isn't a bad thing, it just means that as you grow the things you love change. Sometimes the change hurts, sometimes it just a gradual drifting apart. Just be prepared for it.
11. Be you. That's a lot easier said than done, because you are going to feel pressured to be something you're not. Just know that no matter what I like you and I am cheering you on.
12. Don't reciprocate meanness. I wish no one would ever be rude to you, but that isn't reality. So when someone is mean to you, don't be mean back. Whether it's the driver behind you with road rage or the kid at school. It's just not worth it and it doesn't make you feel any better.
13. It's almost never about you. When people act in a way that hurts or makes you feel insecure, it is almost certainly about something happening inside of them, and not about you. You can know that in your head and still have your heart sliced in pieces. Believe me, I'm still learning this one.
14. The internet can be a cruel place. You can't control what others post, but you can use it responsibly and kindly yourself. Think before you post. Never electronically send anything you wouldn't want printed on the front page of the newspaper. Whether it's words or photos. About yourself or about anyone else. (Even if you delete it, it can still be found.)
15. Don't ever make a fool of yourself chasing a guy. The right one will find you. If/when one breaks your heart, I will be right here, hurting with you.
16. I am here for you. I always have time for you. Chances are if you are going through it, your mother did, too. So ask my advice and/or tell me all the details. If it seems like I'm too busy or too tired when you have something important to say, you have permission to get my attention or wake me up. I can't promise I will always be wide awake and focused right away, but you are important to me. You can tell me anything, any time.
You go, girl! Happy Birthday to my favorite daughter!
Love. Mom
1 comment:
The first paragraph is simply history being repeated. I have always been glad you have a daughter since you never had a sister.
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