25 Things I Would Say to My Younger Self About Parenting

   If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me “enjoy them while they’re little, they grow up so fast”...
   I am not a “baby person”. I was just trying to survive back in the day, so not a whole lot of enjoying the moments went on. I simply cannot relate to mothers who want to freeze time with their little people; to this day, I don’t think my children grew up too fast. My grandmother & my mother both said “I never had enough of babies. But I had enough of teenagers.” Well, I say the opposite- “I had enough babies. But my teenagers will grow up & move out before I’m finished enjoying them!”
   As someone said recently “it’s ironic that the time when we have the most influence over our children is also the time when we are the most immature”. If I could go back to when I was “in the trenches” and tell myself a few things, this is what I would say-

1. Remember when you had toddlers and you wished you could get 5 minutes alone in the bathroom? That time will come.
2. Don’t be so hard on yourself when it’s difficult to get personal devotional time every day. This too shall pass.
3. Empty nest syndrome starts long before your children move out. It starts with a driver’s license.
4. You will not remember things so write it down. Fill out the baby book entirely. And take pictures of typical things, not just the events. You won’t remember what their bedroom looked like when they were 7.  
5. You get to relearn all the things you forgot after leaving High School. That calculus you were sure you’d never use? Comes back to revisit you in the form of your teen’s homework they need help with.
6. You will embarrass your children. You won’t do it on purpose- it just happens. You are just being you …only now it embarrasses them. Therefore you will be subjected to some variation of “Just chill!” followed by an eye roll at least once.
7. You are not as cool as you think you are. Much as you want to think you are so much cooler than your parents were, your teens won’t buy it.
8. Teens expect to be treated like adults. Except when it comes to paying for things, doing chores, or attending your reunions.
9. You will join the ranks of sleep deprived parents once again. Instead of a teething baby, it’s teenagers breaking curfew that keep you up -half sick with worry, half angry and plotting future groundings. (What I want to know is why the publishers of “What to Expect when You’re Expecting” didn’t publish a book called “What to Expect when You were Expecting your Teen an Hour Ago”!)
10. You’ll be grateful you aren’t back in your teen years.
11. Remember what it was like to be a teen. Teens make bad choices. Don’t panic. One bad choice does not define who they are. It’s important not to over-react. Start practicing.
12. Make mealtime a priority. Once they are teens with their own responsibilities it gets more complicated.
13. Go to every program, sporting event, awards night, etc. You don’t want to be the parent who was too busy to be bothered. Other stuff will wait.
14. Keep up with technology. Your children need someone to monitor, set limitations, set up parental controls. Let them see you modeling responsible behavior, too.
15. Be affectionate. When your child hugs you, never be the first to let go. For one day they will no longer want to hug you.
16. Be aware that your words and deeds are shaping your children for a lifetime. It’s true- we become our parents. So what [character traits, habits] do I want my children saddled with for a lifetime?
17. Listen. That chatter is more than chatter. Their unfiltered feelings & ideas are a gift they are trusting you with. In the future you will have to ‘drag it out of them’.
18. Forgive yourself for not being perfect.
19. It’s normal to feel hopeless and hopeful in the same day.
20. Don’t grow weary of dressing them. Some day you’ll wish to have a say in what they wear. And how they comb their hair. (Or lack thereof.)
21. You’ll struggle with wanting to rescue your kids… and trusting that they’ll use the lessons you taught them to rescue themselves. When your kid hurts, you will hurt too, but applying band-aids and giving kisses won’t be enough any more.
22. Raising older children is less physically demanding than babies, but parenting older kids takes more of an emotional toll because the stakes are higher.
23. Growing up is hard. Watching your child grow up is harder.
24. Your teenagers will make you concerned, stressed and worried. But ultimately they’ll turn out fine. (You did.) That hot mess of hormones might slam the bedroom door, suffer a broken heart, get a speeding ticket, become irrational because you are “too picky/strict”… but they will eventually become rational, mature and possibly apologetic for all they put you through. (Or not.)
25. One thing that will remain the same is how busy you are as a mom.